it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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