im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
