3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
She's not a foreskin expert like you
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
