i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
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