It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
