I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
