he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
