Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
