Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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