Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
