I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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