you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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