i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
high people should be assigned attendants
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
