Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
