In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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