My Higher Power is John Stamos
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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