FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
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