I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
