I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize