uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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