exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
