She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
