if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
