White coat. Heels.
that's an acceptable place to lick
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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