he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
