while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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