So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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