i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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