Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
