but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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