these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
