I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
