I'm lost and stupid without you.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
