let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
