He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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