I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
