You're my little dorito
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
