Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
wow bdsm is so cute
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize