I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Randomize
