help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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