doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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