if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
whose parrot is this?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
