white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
