i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
