Umm I'm too high to move.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
