Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
