As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
There r osticjed everywhere
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Randomize
