It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
