help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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