I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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