uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
