I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
