So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize