butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
