She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize