Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
