We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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