TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
