There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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