i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
