every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
