dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
