just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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