I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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