there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
My vagina just recognized that song.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
