yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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