that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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