'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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