and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
