I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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