I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
