He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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