Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Randomize
