hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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